First World Problems: J.Lo is Singing Again


Being bombarded with bullshit and worthless reality TV stars in just about every corner of American media isn’t enough.  We still have untalented singers refusing to go away and STILL TRYING TO SING.

On some real shit:

Jennifer Lopez has the kind of voice that makes you cringe– like drinking-orange-juice-after-brushing-your-teeth kind of cringe.

Don’t get me wrong– she has a decent amount of (old) playable songs, but her voice is trash and her acting is questionable at best.  Which is probably why she can no longer get any watchable roles… but unfortunately, that won’t stop her believers from encouraging her to get into the recording studio.

For those who don’t know, the timeline goes as follows:

Jennifer was doing bullshit choreography on “In Living Color” and then got a major career-boost after portraying the late Mexican singer Selena.

Then we were forced to listen to her struggle singing for about 5 years straight.  I know and recognize talent when I see it… and J.Lo is pure garbage.  She’s the perfect example of being in the right place at the right time and meeting the right people to propel your career.

And then, by the grace of God, some divine intervention allowed “Gigli” to happen, prompting all of Hollywood to turn their backs and close their doors.  They realized she was never really “that” talented and wanted no parts of another motion picture embarrassment.

Just like Ashanti was not talented and had NO BUSINESS singing– let alone doing movies.

Just like Ja Rule had no business trying to act.

Just like a shitload of other people can’t act or sing but have well-connected agents and managers that can take them wherever they want to go in the business.  Then consumers and fans are all blinded by the makeup and the clothes and the other shit that covers up the truth.

Now what’s my truth? I have to deal with another fucking J.Lo song if I happen to turn on Hot97.

And I have to see a scrawny, late-40s woman disguised under a pound of makeup as a young, 20-something posing on a MTA platform on my Facebook newsfeed.

Yo, I’m not feelin that shit man.  And let me reiterate something from my last post: It’s nothing personal.  I give credit where credit is due, and I shit on whoever deserves it.

Can people PLEASE stop telling J.Lo she can sing?

Can people PLEASE stop telling her that she will once again be relevant like she was 10 years ago? She will not be.  Her time is up.  Let some real and new and YOUNG talent– that can actually sing without the assistance of million-dollar voice-enhancement equipment– come in and make music.


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